Terrible Twos times One Hundred

I don't know what to compare our current situation to other than that of dealing with a 2 year old but times 100 percent. The unfortunate part is I am not talking about Olivia. However, she has provided the typical terrible two behavior to go along with it all.

We dealt with this issue over a year and a half ago with Owen. So bad in fact that we brought in a behavior specialist to try and get past it. We learned some great techniques and understand this behavior so much better but we find ourselves dealing with it again.
I have to say as a parent, dealing with behavior issues has got to be one of the hardest things. Some days I am at my wits end as we just go from time out to time out to time out. He isn't learning from any of it and he continues to get frustrated whenever something doesn't go right. It would be tolerable if it was just a few episodes and there were no physical violence in the process. But unfortunately that is not the case.

Owen's speech therapist has made a great suggestion to start documenting everything. Hoping we can identify a pattern, a response that works, a trigger, a way to get out of this rut. We aren't sure if this is communication issues or if it his being tired or if it truly is him having behavior issues.

So after 1 day of tracking. I have finally realized why we feel so exhausted! Just this evening alone from 5pm - 6:10 pm he had 8 episodes. If you average that out it was every 8 minutes we were dealing with some sort of tantrum. I just feel so bad because we have to watch him get so upset over the smallest of things and we just don't know how to help him.

This kind of stuff is extremely hard to post about. But to be honest it is our life and it is what makes us get through each day. Most of the outside world does not even see a glimpse of this in Owen. In front of others he typically does not act this way. He does well at daycare and school and very rarely acts out at therapy. I hope it's just another phase, hope with school starting in a few weeks he will get back to himself, I hope we can figure it out, I hope it gets better.

I hope it will.

I know it will.

He is just teaching us more lessons we didn't expect to learn.

We love you Owen.

We will get through this together.

fair time = fun time

We ventured to the fair on Friday with the kids. My dad also joined us so we met up at our usual park and ride place...the Roseville HS. Unfortunately by the time we got there the lot was full. We still saw some spots so we scooted around a barricade to make our way in. Sorry parking lot guards :)

I love this picture for a few reasons. Olivia clutching onto Jesse, Owen reaching into get something out of Grandpa's pocket and the biggest grin on Grandpa's face. Love it.

The kids did pretty well. We try to arrive early to avoid the craziness of the crowds and still get in to see a few things before nap times. We made our way through the miracle of birth center and spied one of the 4-H-rs holding onto one of the piggies so the kids got to "pet it". It was so cute to listen to Olivia talk to the animals, she gets a high pitched voice and says "hi piggie"

Of course since we were at the fair we got to hang out with Matt and Erin who were there working. We enjoyed walking around with them and tasting a few new foods (Mashed potatoes on a stick - yum). And of course the kids were very excited to see them. The rest of the day all I heard was "Where's Erin, Where's Matt?"

Owen having a little chat with a sheep. I told him he couldn't share his fish with him. I think Owen was telling him sorry at this point. Or he was telling him he knew a way out and he could break him free? Whatever it was, it was a pretty intense conversation!

One of the best parts of going to the fair is that the kids get to participate at the corn roast. Owen LOVES throwing the corn down the shoot. It is a really fun place to be. I have a feeling someday he will be working behind that counter handing you some corn!

Olivia wasn't as interested in helping with the corn but she sure loved being held by Erin and eating it! :)

We also attempted some rides. Olivia wasn't quite sure what to think about them but she didn't cry, I consider that a success. Owen as usual really enjoyed it. And only a few mild episodes when he had to exit the ride.

It really was a family day at the fair. We spotted uncle Nick sitting behind the bobcat booth. SURPRISE! Owen hopped behind the counter and was ready to start selling stuff. Instead he left with his very own bobcat (miniature), Thanks Nick!

The best part of the day. NO ACCIDENTS FOR OWEN!!!! He made it through the entire time at the fair, even used a public restroom (standing up). And thankfully the corn roast has a bathroom facility for us to use a few times.

What to try next?

I have had a daily pain in my right side for the last 7 months, some days it is worse than others. Sometimes all I can do is crawl into a ball and hope it goes away.We thought it was my kidneys for a while but that wasn't it. They thought it might be colon cancer but that wasn't it (thank goodness!). They have yet to figure it out. So they blame it on muscle. But they aren't quite sure what is causing the muscles to be out-a-whack. And this is why I hate doctors!
They have told me not to sit at work so much. Um, I sit at a desk and in meetings all day. So I now fit in a mile long walk during my lunch break and I am going to have my desk raised up so that I am in standing position at work. The other wonderful advice they gave me was to try not to carry my kids so much. Good luck with that!
I have been going to the chiropractor weekly and no change there so my next thing to try is Rolfing.
I have heard it hurts like heck but it is supposed to help. Maybe they can even fix my neck issues while they are at it?
Man it sucks getting old!

lots of goings on....

The past few weeks it has been a little hard to remember what day of week it is. But a busy life is a life full of making memories.

Potty Training
Potty training is going VERY well. I am amazed at how Owen has taken it on. We had no idea what this process would be like and how much he would fight it. But he hasn't. He has been a willing participant and has even started bringing himself in the bathroom on his own when he has to go. After just 1 week!!!
Next step will be to get him to be able to leave the house and still stay dry. And start to wear his clothes again :)

A night out
We were invited to Jason's new co-workers wedding this weekend. It was an outdoor location. It was hot, there were lots of bugs, tons of strangers, but beautiful, a reason to dress up, and no responsibilities.

 (smile Jason!)

Bridal showers
My sister Erin has a wedding in less than a month....eek!! So excited for them. We have been having pre-wedding activities the last few weeks and this weekend was another fun bridal shower. Always fun to be part of a new couple starting out.

Also got Owen fitted for his tux this week. We are soooo excited to see him walk down the aisle as the ring bearer. We got a little glimpse as he tried on his tux and he instantly broke out into a dance. I have a feeling he might steal a little bit of the show...

Family

We are blessed to have such a wonderful set of families. Without them, life just would not be complete.

My Aunt Jana has had a really good week. Lots of family and friends rallying around her to show how much she is loved. And I am so thankful to hear that she is doing better, each day is a blessing and we continue to pray for her strength.

We had a nice time spending a few hours with Jasons family last week. We don't get to see them as often but when we do we soak it up.

My family always willing to help out and watch the kids whenever needed. Thank you to my dad, sister Erin and sister Anna for spending Saturday with our little ones. It is easy to be away from them for half the day when we know they are having so much fun with you.

And to my brother Nick, our road trip to Iowa City last Sunday will be one I will never forget. Love you!

There was lots of corn, lots of cities, lots of bikers, lots of road signs, lots of wind things (which I still don't get, did you look it up yet?), lots of laughs and lots of tears.

The Tball experience

We had our last Tball game this weekend. We were finally getting to a point where Owen was starting to understand the process so I am little sad to see it end. It was an interesting experience to say the least. BUT it was an opportunity to learn to follow directions and stay focused on a specific task. I don't think it would have been as well received if not for the coach that Owen had and the patience of his mother and father ;)

This week we had a cheering section for him (Thank you Dad, Kathy, Erin, Ryan & Fritz for joining us at the game!). And since uncle Ryan was in town, he got to spend the time on the field during the game. This definitely helped Owen participate better and not have any melt downs. Also gave Jason and I an opportunity to watch (and video tape) a few moments.

There was a mini moment where one of his teammates noticed that Owen was getting a different treatment. But his coach handled it so well and made mom feel better :) They were practicing fielding ground balls but Owen didn't understand he needed to stay back so he walked up close to the coach as he rolled the ball to him. Then one of his teammates told the coach that was cheating. But the coach just said nope we're just practicing, Owen is learning to get the ball.

For those of you who didn't get a chance to come watch him play, here are a few innings of how he did. The first part was practice time (and Olivia pointing out a puppy). Then the game is started with Ryan on the field with him and eventually my dad helping out.

And here is my allstar!

Team Tigers. Look how tiny Owen is compared to his teammates!

But how cute it is that he is standing so close to his coach.

A courageous fight

With a diagnosis of Ovarian cancer over 5 years ago, my Aunt Jana has fought a very courageous fight. She is an inspiration to many. To me. To our families.

There have been a few bumps in the road but this time the bump is too large. The cancer spread and her body is shutting down, it's no longer accepting treatments. But her spirit is untouched. She still shows her smiles. She still makes us laugh. And we still pray. They have sent her home to be with hospice now and she is surrounded by her family and her friends. We took a trip down to see her on Sunday. A 10 hour drive to spend even just 5 minutes with her was all we needed. To sit with her. To be in her presence. To be at her side. But it was so much more to be surrounded by so much love.

We love you Aunt Jana.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Play time

I am always curious to see what kids gravitate towards as their favorite types of toys. I have a jaded view on toys since from the time Owen was just 6 weeks old we were taught all the types of toys to get for Owen to help fine motor, gross motor, etc. So toys to me are therapy items. A doll is used for social skills. A lego is to help strengthen fingers. And for all of these things we have had to actually show Owen how to play. To play pretend was a big milestone for him.

And then Olivia comes along and guess what she just figures it all out. She knows to build houses with the legos and to take the car and drive it on the ground. But still each of these moments we notice. And we get excited about them because it is a milestone for her even if she didn't need to work very hard at it.

This is what she started doing on Sunday. Grabbing her baby dolls and putting them in chairs around the table to do an activity together. Amazing. Children are amazing. Ones that take a while to learn these concepts and ones that just think of them on their own.

Potty talk

I apologize in advance if you are not a parent and you just simply do not want to hear about potty training. But that is exactly what this post is all about. Feel free to just scroll on through to the previous post to save yourself now. I am just warning you :)

It is very hard to tell what concepts Owen doesn't understand and what he just chooses not to. He will be 5 in December and we still have not been able to get him to start potty training. For a while he would sit on the potty and go whenever we put him there. That was probably over a year ago. We didn't do it that often because I didn't want him to get forced into it. I guess you could say we were just testing the waters.
Fast forward to a few months ago and he absolutely refuses to sit on it. So we haven't tried in many months.

But this momma is VERY tired of changing diapers of an almost 5 year old. And his dad is VERY tired of cleaning up #2 when said son decides to go in the bath tub or in a pool.
We are fed up.
So now we just need to bite the bullet and force it. We have a vacation this week for 5 days since our day care is closed so we decided what a better way to spend time off work than to do full on potty training.
Result = 7 dirty big boy undies + 0 dirty potty chairs + 7 spot bot treatments. Not working yet.

BUT we have seen progress. He is starting to run to the bathroom right after he pees. So he is recognizing he is going. He is recognizing that he needs to go into the bathroom.

Now to just get him to recognize this all before he starts to go.
Sorry no pictures for this post. He's been running around with no clothes all day and it just wouldn't be right for everyone to see that :)

Step Up for Down Syndrome

We are raising money for the Down Syndrome Association of MN again this year. We would love to have your support.

https://dsamn.ejoinme.org/AllForOwen

Thanks!

Why be normal?

Why be normal? when you can be a Philben. That about sums up our weekend filled with Philben family. Always an interesting experience when everyone gets together. This group consists of my grandma and her kids, their kids, and their kids kids. 4 generations. And we try to gather as many as we can as often as possible. A little difficult when we are spread out into 5 different states but when it works out we love to be a part of it.

I believe we had 20 kids under the age of 9 there. I kinda lost count. They are all second cousins and this was the end of a hot day. Lots of kids were unhappy to be asked to stand together and a few actually refused. Owen refused but we plopped him in there anyway. Sorry hon!

A few other snapshots from the day...

(Yes, that is a couch on the back of a gator.)

 

Whats better than hanging out on the farm? Hanging out on a log on the farm.

Owen and Olivia LOVE this slide.

And a post without an Owen cuteness is hard to do. Owen loves hats. He likes to bring his cowboy hat with him wherever he goes. Well this time he thought grandma's hat looked better than his.

grandma can I try on your hat?

Well even if you say no, I am going to take it anyway.

Awesome fit. I think I will keep this one. Thanks grandma!

It was a wonderful time to get to see the cousins and aunts and uncles and to watch our kids play and become great friends. We are blessed to call them all family.

And I could not complete this post without a prayer request for my aunt Jana who is still battling a courageous fight with cancer. She unfortunately had to spend quite a bit of the weekend in the hospital so we were not able to spend as much time with her and my uncle Dan. We love you guys and are hopeful that things start to turn around for the better.

Veggie Tales

I really need to figure out how to can these things.....

Our garden adventure has gone really well. A little too well actually. But a good lesson to learn that we don't need so many of the plants and now we can add a few other varieties to the mix next year. We have had so many cucumbers we have lost count. But they make a tasty snack when you soak them in some vinegar and salt water solution. Olivia has even been loving them!

Now I just need to figure out how to can all of these tomatoes. I know they will be a great addition to Jason's famous football Sunday chili. If you have any tips for canning tomatoes, would love to hear them!

A look through the one way window

Children's Therapy Center has been a part of our lives since Owen was 22 months old. It is very rare if we aren't there at least one day a week. We went through most of last year with sessions 4 days a week and have just recently shortened it to 3 days a week by combining 2 types of therapies into one day.

It is like our second home. The kids even shout out "We're home" when we pull in to the parking lot.

The therapists are friendly, passionate, caring and feel like a part of our family. The place is usually packed full of families with kids running around and parents chasing after them. There is so much that is accomplished in between those walls that I feel honored to be a part of it.

We have been so blessed to have this place. They have helped Owen tremendously. Some weeks are better than others for him. But since we have started, we have never had to have the discussion if we should stop because he isn't learning and progressing.

As Owen spends from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours in his sessions. So during that time we get creative with how to keep ourselves occupied. Olivia does well some days and others not so much but she is such a trooper for participating in this activity.

They have a wonderful one way window for parents to watch their kids without the kids knowing so we spend quite a bit of time sitting in front of that window watching.

Or when the weather cooperates we play outside. Go for walks, find a local park or just chill out in the grass and have a chat with daddy on the phone.

Notice her hair in this photo, this was after a long day at daycare....

And when on a rare occasion we have the lobby to ourselves we just run around and point out the flowers on the walls and wait for Owen to walk through those doors.

It is our second home and some would think we are crazy for how much therapy Owen gets but I could not bear to pull him out of anything when he continues to grow, to learn, to enjoy it. So we continue to spend time traveling there and hanging out there while Owen gets this opportunity and is willing to participate. Even if he decides to go with a full Spiderman costume on (he did his whole physical therapy session on Friday dressed like this!)

A new chapter

Time for a change in the blog world. I have been having increasingly more issues with the Microsoft spaces blog site. I know quite a few people who use blogger and have had good luck with it so we will give it a shot. I have a hard time with these kinds of changes since I feel like I really need to learn a whole new system here but with time I will get better with this format. I already don't like the header image at the top of this blog as it seems so huge so I will have to figure out the best size of it so it doesn't take up the whole screen.

Thank you to all my followers...! For now I am not putting a password protection on here as a grace period so anyone that was on the old site can come to this site without having to need a login right away. Stay tuned for that!

P.S. I am sure you will all now appreciate that blogger has spell check! (Windows spaces did not and I am not the best speller when I type these things out!) Oh the little things in life that make me happy :)