Moving On.

The process of having your house on the market is brutal. We have done it twice in the last 2.5 years. And we can finally say we are DONE! The right offer came through and after a bit of back and forth we have made a deal. We ended up taking less on our house than we ever imagined, but sometimes a little sacrifice on one end means huge gains on the other and that is what we are hoping for.
Our close date is March 23 so hoping everything stays as planned until then and hoping that baby decides to stay put until at least then (btw that is 37 weeks for me if you are counting and I have never made it past that for either Owen or Olivia). Cutting it close I know!
Our dream home was no where to be found on the market so we have decided to build. We feel very lucky to have found a house we absolutely love and will fit in our price range (with a little stretching on the down payment...). They are starting the building process this week and it should be done by the end of June.
So that leaves April, May and June to find somewhere to live. Fun for us right?
It will all be worth it in the end. That is all I keep repeating. March is going to be one crazy month for us.

The plan will be to move to a rental town home for a few months. Luckily we found one that was willing to allow us a short term lease and it will fit our growing family. It definitely isn't my ideal situation but we will make it work. I think our biggest struggle will actually be trying to maintain a bit of normalcy for the kids with all the changes occurring. If we can pull that off, we are set.

Our new house is just a few miles south of where we currently are. We found a neighborhood we liked and tried to find a lot that was appropriate for safety concerns we have for Owen. No ponds to fall into, no busy streets to worry about him running towards and no woods to get lost in....the list goes on. We will still put up a fence but we really feel like this will be a much safer environment.
Its a corner lot so the picture is a shot of the front of where the house will be.

And this is what the house will look like when complete...(not these colors though, we want to jazz it up a bit)

It is completely our style and we loved everything about it when we saw it. We thought for sure it would be out of our price range but after some wonderful promotions and a bit of savvy by our realtor, it is meant to be.
We wanted 4 bedrooms up and a bonus room up. A potential space for Owen to have when he gets older. It matches everything we were looking for.
Jason's favorite part...the kitchen. He finally gets that gas stove he has been wanting. My favorite part....all of it.

As we start to pack I have been getting sad about all that we are leaving behind. Great neighbors, wonderful memories of our family in this home and finally to have everything "done" in the house.
And now we start again. New memories to be made and a new home to make....
Wish us luck.

If you enjoy packing or need an extra work out carrying things let us know. Jason only has 2 arms and I am just not of much help lately!

Life's a journey NOT a race

New always requires we take time to adapt. We started with tests. Then moved on a plan.
A plan led to a trial with a mask. To see how he would tolerate it. He fights but he gives in.
Another study and the ok to proceed. And now we move on to the next step in our journey.
Sleep with mask. Sleep with machine. Sleep. Deep Sleep. Peaceful Sleep. Sleep.

I was skeptical about how this would work. How would he fall asleep with this. How would he tolerate it. There is no sugar coating that he is fighting us. Thankfully he is using his words and telling us no instead of hitting. I think he knows it's good for him. We have to be forceful. We have to be repetitive. We have to make it routine.

It is working. Slowly but surely it is working. We turn it on and he immediately gets quiet and sleepy. He doesn't like to lay down with it on so we have to make him do it. But once he is there he doesn't move. His eyes gently close and within minutes he is out. It.is.amazing.
He used to toss and turn and kick and sleep in the most awkward positions. He used to snore and sit up and kick his wall. And now with CPAP we lay him down and there he stays. Doesn't move an inch for hours.

We are still struggling to keep it on all night. We have to check on him from time to time and reapply the mask. But it has only been 3 nights and we are just starting out. I am hopeful this is the start of something amazing for him. Better rest. Better behavior. Better awareness.

The best is yet to come.

a month gone by

I am just going to call January like it was. January was a big ol blog slacker month for me. Not that we didn't have anything to post about. Just didn't feel much like posting. But February is a new month and I need to get back into my routine.
So many memories are made each day that sometimes we forget the important ones that we want to carry with us for many many years. That is one thing I love about blogging is it helps keep those memories alive.

And so here is the January dump...

Auntie Erin and Uncle Matt were staying at a local hotel so we took full advantage of the pool facilities. Both kids are doing great with their swimming. I think it is time to get them back in to swim lessons. Just need to find the time!

Olivia had a playdate and sleep over with auntie Erin one weekend. She had quite an adventure but it also gave us a great opportunity to spend some one on one time with Owen. Our big event was making pizza's together.

 

There hasn't been a weekend in January where we have been able to be home. Each day there have been showings. Some days all day long. So we have been going on lots of little outings. The kids have been troopers enduring this crazy life. Just last saturday we had 6 showings on Saturday. Opportunities to let us get out enjoy some time together. Often times we avoid it because getting everyone to cooperate on these adventures isn't the easiest. But we've been making it work and trying to stay positive.
This was our trip to the zoo. We watched the dolphin show, saw the penguins and monkeys and tried to talk to as many animals that would listen.

The rest of our time has been spent on keeping the house clean. Keeping the 1 inch snowfall,  that we always seem to get, cleared from the driveway for prospective buyers. Trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids and a very cooperative dog.

Another big accomplishment this month has been the "gonzo" mask. Owen has been doing great with it. So great in fact that after just one week of the "desensitization" we were cleared to move on to the next step. Another sleep study...fun, not.

The study is never quick to be scheduled so we had to wait until Feb 16th to get in. But a cancellation came up on a Thursday night and we jumped at the chance to get it done.

Off to Children's Hospital went Jason and Owen. I was worried for them. Wondered how he'd tolerate all the wires again and then to add the mask and the hose on top of it all.

But he is getting used to it. And he tolerated it. And he slept wonderfully. They actually had to wake him up in the morning. Great sign of things to come. And now we wait again for the next step....they need to come out to our house to set up the hose and machine.

January hasn't been all good news. We did get an offer on our house but it fell through. We had our hopes up and now we are back to square one. But we will try to stay patient and let happen what is meant to happen. We do have much more worrisome things to be praying for in our family. PJ has been diagnosed with cancer after an ER trip and a pancreatitis (sorry I have no idea how to spell that!) diagnosis. A scan showed cancer in his liver, lung and bone. A very scary situation that we don't know fully what it all means yet but we are praying and hoping the dr.'s can get it into remission.

As we leave January behind us, we are hopeful for better news in February. Hoping and praying for a healthy family. Good test results and chemo treatments for PJ. Strength for my mom. A good result from the new CPAP machine for Owen. For no signs of bedrest for me. For Jason's travels to be safe and quick. And for me to not lose my sanity :)
And most important a happy birthday to my sister Lisa tomorrow, man you are getting old!

You've been masked!

Mask desensitization is our task. 

We can't start the trial with a CPAP machine until Owen shows that he can tolerate the mask. Our mission is now to get him to feel comfortable with it. Make it seem cool. Make him feel like a superstar in it. If this is going to work and help the little guy sleep he must wear the mask.

We started a few days early by taking out his nebulizer mask and asking him to wear it. New Years Day he had it on most of the day, carrying it around and either putting it over his mouth or pushing it up to rest on his forehead. We were surprised at how much fun he was having with it. I guess that is what happens when we act like it is the BEST thing in the world ;)

The nebulizer mask is at least a little fun since it has little fish pattern on it. We kept calling him Fish Man.

Today they came out for "the fitting" There were about 6 different masks to choose from. We asked him to try them all on. He cooperated. He was great. Some were to big, some seemed like he would pull them off or it wouldn't stay on since he moves around so much. And in the end we narrowed it down to 2 and let him choose. He hasn't wanted to wear it much since this but it is the first day. I think we need to dress it up a little, add some sort of stickers, give it a cool name, make it fun. Because calling it a mask just isn't going to cut it.

For good measure, Olivia tried it on to show Owen how cool it was to wear a mask.

Dad did too but I wasn't quick enough to snap a photo!

I hope this desensitization process goes as smoothly as the fitting went. Once we make it to 10-30 minutes of consistently wearing the mask we will move on to trying the machine. These situations always remind us how lucky we are to have Owen. To remind us how to appreciate little milestones like wearing a silly little mask can be such a big deal. He doesn't know why he has to do it but he knows it makes us happy. That is what drives him and we are so proud of him.

Happy New Year!

This is my year to get caught up [who am I kidding baby #3 will be here in 3 months], well I will try to start off the year with a blog to catch up on our happenings!

Gymnastics, Gymnastics, and more Gymnastics
The kids are still enjoying their Saturday mornings in Gymnastics. I have seen great improvement in Olivia's balance and Owen's strength in the last few months and I know it has a lot to do with the things they work on each Saturday.

They've been loving it so much we hosted Owen's birthday party at the Gym. It was lots of fun and even some of the adults got to join in on the jumps into the pit.

Ho, Ho, Ho, It's Christmas time
Olivia's preschool had a christmas program at a church near by. I had no idea it was coming so we hadn't practiced anything with her. But she was brave and stood up front, looking a little shy but no tears. I was so proud of her attempt. They sang some songs and she just stared. It was a great first experience for her.

Thankfully we have and nice weather so my mom was able to come up for a weekend to celebrate christmas this year. We had a great time spending the day together as a family. And the kids of course loved opening presents and playing with all their new things.

Owen got a castle from grandma and grandpa. He was in love.

A christmas eve dinner party at my dads. And Olivia doing her typical pout face. 

Missing one little dude for this picture but it would have been a bit tough to get him to participate.

Christmas morning. It was early but they were both excited to see what Santa brought. No lumps of coal. But a few things to make them happy. This was the first year Jason and I could actually sit back and watch them open their gifts. The gasps were priceless.

After our quick gift opening we headed back to Shoreview for the final christmas gift exchange at my dad's house. It would not have been complete without a visit from a dog dressed as a reindeer of course.

Two happy kiddos.

I love that Owen loves his books so much. We had to convince him to open the rest of this presents after he unwrapped these books. He was completely satisfied taking a break and reading for a while.
 
We've had a few more birthday celebrations for Owen. Including a trip to the MOA on his birthday for an adventure on the rides, a lunch at Rainforest cafe and a visit to build-a-bear to make his day a little extra special.

 
To top off the week Owen had another playdate with a buddy from school. Barrett came over to play and Owen was OVER the moon excited. They played great together and lots of hugs as they said goodbye.

What do you do when you turn 6? Start losing your teeth of course!

He has had 2 wiggly teeth on top. The darn black one and the one right next to it. He woke up on Thursday and I noticed the "white loose" one was out of place a bit. I knew it wouldn't be long. Dad and Owen were goofing around a little to much in the afternoon and Owen got kicked in the mouth. A little blood later and Owen reached in his mouth and just yanked the tooth right out. I was so hoping it would have been the black one to go first! He has 2 more on the bottom going through the same situation. Soon he will be a little toothless monster!

Olivia has been terrified that her teeth are going to fall out.

She asks just about every day if her teeth are going to fall out today.

Having Owen's fall out right in front of her has not helped ease her fears!

 
A few other things to sum up our past few months...

• ENT and Audiology followups for Owen. Hearing tests were the same as last year so no changes there, yay!
• Jason decided it was time to splurge and upgrade my DSLR camera and got me a Canon 60D for christmas. I am one lucky girl! Unfortunately Olivia's foot has already come in contact with it and it now has a broken screen - I guess I am not so lucky - but it should be fixed soon.
• I am now officially 25 weeks pregnant! This pregnancy is going ok. My history of contractions are already repeating themselves but I know what to worry about now and just need to slow down a bit.
• Our journey with the CPAP machine starts tomorrow. Fun - no.
• Olivia's favorite phrase, "Are you happy with me?" I guess she thinks she gets in trouble a little too often.
• Still haven't sold the house. Lots of interest just no offers yet. It only takes on though right?! They better hurry up this baby will be here soon!

Sleep tight little one.

Why is he acting out? Why is he having tantrums? Why does he always seem exhausted at the end of the day? Why does it seem like such a struggle?
Questions we’ve been asking.

Answers we’ve been given.
He needs sensory input. He needs a nap each day. He needs to be able to fall asleep on his own. He needs behavior modification. He needs timeouts. He needs a picture schedule.

I called his ENT. I made an appointment. I asked for them to call in an order for a sleep study. It has been over a year since his last one and I frankly didn’t know what else to do at this point. We need some real answers. The sleep dr. called and said it isn’t going to tell them anything we don’t already know. He has mild apnea but not that bad. But come in to the office and we will chat about it.

So we went to the sleep clinic. Talked to the dr. for over an hour about what we see, what we experience, what our routine is like, why we want another study. He agreed there’s obviously something going on. But his main conclusion is Owen just isn’t getting enough sleep (even though he “sleeps” for 12 hours each night) he believes he still needs a nap. His suggestion…get him to fall asleep on his own each night so he isn’t comforted by us laying with him. Then maybe during school he will take a nap.

The alternative suggestion? A stimulant to help him make it through his day. Ritalin. That is the easiest fix. The other one? A cpap machine but he just didn’t recommend that since he thought it would be to difficult and not sure the apnea is that bad to need it.

No one thought another sleep study would be needed. No one but Jason and I - so we pushed for it and asked. It felt like there was more to this story. Jason spent Thursday night with Owen at Childrens Hospital. Maybe Owen knew we needed him to show the dr.s what was going on. Maybe we just go lucky and that night Owen decided to let them hook it all up. Whatever the motivation it worked. He didn't refuse like he has every other time. He didn't try to yank every cord out like he has every other time. He cooperated. He was a trooper.

It was a rough night. But they both made it through. And then I got a call the next day from the sleep dr. It seemed that sleep study showed them a significant disruption in sleep. A big enough difference from last time that they now think the CPAP is what we need to do to help this little guy sleep better at night.

We start our new journey sometime this week. We are hopeful this is the answer he needed.

It isn't always about learning your ABCs

At the beginning of the school year I worried we hadn't prepared Owen enough. He wasn't ready for reading, math programs, science, writing and knowing his ABCs. I was so worried about how behind he is. Each week this worry gets pushed a little further away. The worry is there, we still push him to try to keep up. But I have learned in the last few months what is really important right now. Right now for Owen, it isn't about knowing his ABCs. It is about building relationships. Making the right choices. Being a good partner. Communicating in the right way. That is where he is thriving and I am so excited to see this because it is something very positive to focus on. We don't always get to focus on the things that are going well. Mostly the conversations are about the struggles and trying to solve the problems. But it seems that if we shift this focus it gets a little less overwhelming.
I am not sure I would be able to make this shift without the help of his teacher Mrs. Schnackenberg. So if you are reading this Susan, thank you for opening my eyes to this. Your daily emails are always so positive. Always a perspective that reminds us what he is doing well. Sometimes there is a bad report, but it is in a tone that makes it seem like no big deal. But I know my Owen, and I know he can be tough to handle sometimes ;)
He has a few kiddos in his class that are always on his daily report as sitting next to him at a program or playing with him at free choice. He is making some long lasting friends. Opening their hearts to the differences he has. One of them is a little girl named Olivia. She motivates Owen, she watches out for Owen. Sometimes reminding him but always being a good role model for him. We invited her to his birthday party but unfortunately she has plans. She was pretty disappointed so her mom sent me a note asking if they could have Owen over to their house to play. She wanted to give him a little gift and to spend a little extra time with him.
It was one of those emails where my heart stopped. It was that moment of acceptance that I have always worried about. It came unexpectedly for me. It may just be kindergarten but it really is the beginning of the journey. Olivia may not know the impact she has on him but we do. And we are so thankful to have her as Owen's friend.

How did he do? About how I expected. I let him play there by himself. I stayed for a few minutes then left him there. He of course wasn't nervous or didn't get shy or sad when I said I was leaving. He just waved, said bye mom and told me "Merry Christmas". They played for a little over an hour and then I picked him up. He didn't want to go home but then finally understood it was time to go. He still doesn't understand the concept of boundaries or manners all too well so he was all over their house. Upstairs, downstairs, in everyone's bedroom you name it, he explored it. Thankfully Olivia's parents were very understanding and just went with it.
A simple gesture of a playdate has gone a long way for Owen and for us. It has opened our eyes to the potential of being treated just like everyone else. He is after all more alike than different.

I am thankful for times like these where we have such good things to think about. To know that things are going well. To know he is doing well with something. To put one of our worries away for a while.